A Bummer of a Newsflash

the caywood newsdesk-- Bluebird, why hath thou forsaken us?

According to data from the Centers for Disease Control's Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, New York ranks 51st on a state-by-state list of happiness. Does this mean our unhappiness goes to 11? Possibly. But it also means D.C. was included on the list, which they should be happy about, since the researchers evidently decided that taxation merits representation.

We're almost as unhappy to report that California ranks 46th on the list. I guess Empire and Golden-ness can't buy happiness after all. No, for that, you need a pelican.

To see where your favorite state lands, go here.